. niña de seda .

Wednesday, June 30

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Sometimes it's really hard to keep pretending i'm tough... I'm not..I'm weak and I have to accept it.
Never pay attention if I don't cry, you should actually know i'm dying inside.. that I am on the verge of ending this, as people usually say of "cutting it from the root"... giving an end to the error of being born, the one my family finds pleasure in reminding me every time they can...

I don't pretend to be understood... I accept it, I'm 16 years old, and I can't ask for understanding when so many contradictory things are happening inside my mind... my heart...

I feel lost and confused... stranded and alone... and I can't deny anymore that I miss you... I can't the deny that you were a great part of me and that I feel alone without you... I can't deny I need you.

So many people insist on my dependence... I guess it's true.. I depend on you to feel, on all of you to actually feel my life has a purpose... I need your strength to keep me from falling apart... I need someone to love me and someone for me to love..
Something to keep my mind busy, to keep it from starting to think about all of this... to keep me from crying... to keep me from dying...
I've found this can't be.. so impossible keep being the targets of my love... so unreal... so untrue...

I guess I'm open.... I guess I'm broken...
I guess I'm sure.... I'm not strong enough...

Monday, June 28

Letter to no one


Amazed... totally astonished... disappointed?? maybe... although.. not really... maybe later... when I come out of the delicate state of shock the truth has vanished me to...

I use to see everything as an incredible illusion,, maybe a dream,, but it seemed so real that it made me feel hole... complete... it made me happy to know not every illusion was meant to disappear... waking up wouldn't make things go.. it was real.. and it felt real...


We've made fools of ourselves...you've made a fool out of me...

A fool for believing something perfect was possible... a fool for believing...


In the end not only disappointment will remain.. but also an immense gratitude for finally opening my eyes... for allowing me to see reality...not really what I expected,, but at least it's real...


I remain thankfull...











Friday, June 25

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Se escondieron los colores.... huyeron ante la posibilidad de ser tocados por la luz...

Temían, ante todo, el revelarse ante un mundo que nunca los comprenderia...

La noche, la oscura noche, los revelaba como eran; Un universo inmenso de colores, tan diversos, que en la grandeza del espacio y el tiempo, no existian dos iguales.

Llegaba el amanecer, y con el, la temida luz del día. Se veían obligados a huir, a esconderse de aquella luz... no podrían resistir ser observados.. no podrían aguantar las miradas incrédulas de millones de seres que los miraban hora tras hora, sin lograr comprender la rareza y la madnitud de lo que tenían enfrente.

La noche les daba libertad, les daba la oportunidad de salir, de ser, sin tener que vivir bajo el escrutinio de esos seres que nunca serían lo suficientemente capaces para comprender el significado que cada uno de esto tenía... era demasiado profundo para que seres superficiales pudieran llegar a entenderlo...

Los seres extraños que intentaban descifrarlos, se habían condenado ya a vivir en un universo blanco o negro, donde su existencia no era mas que una tonalidad de gris mas... Se habían condenado a la monotonía, esa que los seguiría por siempre, y a esa que ya la rutina los había acostumbrado...

Wednesday, June 23


Nocturne Dragon.. Posted by Hello

Saturday, June 19

Why do I?

I was shocked be'cause I'm not so tough as tough as I had thought that I would be
I see that I don't have control
I'll shut you out, wiser, again
hope that I will not be bored alone

nothing less than what I think about myself is what you´ll see in me
I know that I can get control
I'll shut you out, wiser, again
hope that I will not be bored alone

'cause you, everything you say is true
totally rely on you, I swear
I'd give, everything I have to you
totally belong to you, you know
you are nothing more than me
but you mean too much to me
I swear

why do I belong to you

weak as I feel now is what I'll be if I just let it slip away
I see that I get full control
I'll shut you out, wiser, again
still hope that I will not be bored alone






-Krezip-